Old Dogs, a new fish-out-of-water pseudo family-friendly comedy is the type of film that audiences will lap up over the holiday weekend like so much spilled gravy. But, they’ll be hard pressed to care about the movie once it’s finished (or possibly during it). The movie begins with the tired one-joke premise of a couple of fifty-something, somewhat happily single men being forced to baby sit children and expects hilarity to ensue. It does occasionally. Mostly, Old Dogs is a series of painfully unfunny bits of physical comedy loosely held together by a paint-by-numbers plot.
Boring, safe, reliable, but lovelorn Dan (Robin Williams) and ladies man Charlie (John Travolta) run a sports marketing firm. As the film opens, the two middle-aged men are on the verge of taking their company global. Everything seems to be moving along smoothly until Vicki (Kelly Preston), the lost-love that Dan had a one-night fling with (well, they were actually married during a drunken night partying in Florida, so I guess that makes the kids legitimate or something, but I’m getting ahead of myself), shows up with Dan’s offspring – seven-year-old twins Emily (Ella Bleu Travolta) and Zach (Conner Rayburn). Naturally, Vicki and Dan decide to give their relationship another shot but there’s a catch (didn’t see that coming did you?). Vicki is scheduled to serve a couple of weeks in jail after being arrested at a protest or something noble like that (that’s so you know she’s a good mother) and ultimately it’s up to Dan to look after the kids while Vicki is away. As you could probably guess, he’s not very kid-savvy so he enlists his good buddy Charlie and the fun begins.Sadly, there really isn’t too much that’s fun in this movie. The dads-out-of-water joke is overused so much that it actually gets tiring during the first go around – a delightful little scene where the new family goes camping and the dads manage to offend everyone involved, destroy a monument, and play a game of “ultimate Frisbee” that results in a lot of body related humor and a general feeling of disappointment for the two children – maybe for the the audience too. This scene is then repeated in a different location and repeated and repeated and … until the film comes puttering to a predictable ending wherein Dan (and Charlie to a certain extent) figures out what exactly he wants out of life (here’s a spoiler, its Vicki and the kids).
I don’t want to give the impression that the film is a complete mess. For the most part, it is. It’s not a good film by any stretch, but it’s actually better than it deserves to be. I say this not because of any brilliant acting performances hidden away in the film – there’s an abundance of legitimately funny people like Seth Green, Dax Shepard, and Bernie Mac (in his last role) that are totally wasted and used mostly as weak plot devices to get Williams and Travolta to the next wacky shtick portion of the film. Nor do I say the film is special because of any unique contribution that writers David Diamond or David Weissman made to the story (this is the team that gave us Evolution after all). And I certainly don’t think director Walt Becker does anything more than recycle a tired formula (something he actually did a bit better in Wild Hogs). However, I do think the family-friendly message beneath all of the other garbage is actually a fairly decent one that showcases some nice moments between Williams and his kids – but it’s really hard to appreciate as it only accounts for about 5 to 10 minutes of screen time. Perhaps that’s giving Old Dogs too much credit, but those bits, such as when Williams promises to always protect his daughter are just fantastic.
There was a time when Robin Williams was a good name to have above a title. Remember Good Will Hunting or Dead Poet’s Society? Even this year’s World’s Greatest Dad showcased the talent that he still possesses. However, he seems more content these days to produce awful uninspired comedies like RV, License to Wed, and now, Old Dogs. But, the worst part about the whole affair is that there might actually have been a pretty decent new father story hidden under all of the other junk. Had Old Dogs been constructed as more of a romantic family comedy it might have avoided being the lackluster and just plain bad hodge podge of slapstick that it is.
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